Dr. G. Venkataswamy Retreat Center (Nithyatha/Perpetuity)

AuroFarm, Aravind Eye Care System

Tamil Nadu, India

2 October, 2011

“Seeing is not merely a physical act. The heart of vision is shaped by the state of the Soul.”      John O’Donohue

Dr. “V” is a visionary, a pioneer, a teacher, a change agent, a healer, a holy man, and everyman. It is a deeply meaningful and humbling honor to have the opportunity to speak at the Inaugural Ceremony of this Retreat Center named in his memory.

When my wife, Susy, and I first came to India in 1983 with my friend and colleague, Dr. David Vastine, and his wife, Marcia, it was to teach ophthalmic surgery and to serve a recently formed eye hospital and a man with a deep commitment to service and a lofty vision – to eliminate needless blindness.

At that time, more than 25 years ago, the world was a different place. It was a time when a “cell” referred to a basic anatomic and physiologic component of the body or a small room in a jail to confine law-breakers – not a telephone. It was a time when “mail” required an envelope, stamps, and many days or even weeks to be delivered, not access to the “internet” and a few keystrokes for virtually instantaneous delivery to all corners of the planet. It was a time when we, and the first generation of the Aravind Eye Hospital “family” of ophthalmologists, administrators, and innovators, were younger than the second generation is today. That second generation, which is now accepting the reins of leadership, was out of diapers then, but not out of medical school, married, or actively in the process of raising the next generation.

We came to India to teach and contribute. We learned far more than we taught and were given far more than we left behind. The light that Dr. V brought into the eyes of his patients, into the lives of those around him, and into the world struck us like a bolt of lightning and opened, not only our eyes, but our minds and hearts – transforming us and adding us to his battle against needless blindness. Since our initial “inoculation” of the vision, mission, and people of the Aravind Eye Care System, we have become “addicted” to the compassionate service and spiritual aspiration they provide. This combination, which characterizes the “Aravind Family”, has strongly influenced our lives and has brought us back to India many times.

Dr. V’s battle against needless blindness, on the one hand, is fought in hospital clinics, outreach camps, community centers, operating rooms, and laboratories where the challenges of preventable and treatable diseases are daily encountered in endless quantity and the truths and principles of science predominate. On the other hand, seeing meant more to Dr. V than getting light to the retina. It was about illuminating the inner life and recognizing the deep spiritual reality which connects everything in the visible and ever-changing manifest world of our daily external reality. This inner battle against needless blindness acknowledges the direct experiences of the rishis of the Upanishads, the prophets of the Judeo-Christian-Islamic traditions, the masters of the ancient orient, the rationalists of the Mediterranean basin, and the shamans and medicine men and women of indigenous cultures across the globe. It is a battle against ignorance, anger, differences, intolerance, greed, unkindness, injustice and hatred – all forms of blindness.

Dr. V embodied the accumulated wisdom about the spiritual quest shared by seers and sages of all traditions from thousands of years ago up to present times as summarized and synthesized by Aldous Huxley in the “perennial philosophy”. This philosophy involves 3 main points. (1) There is an infinite, changeless, eternal reality underlying the constantly changing visible world. (2) This same reality lies at the core of every creature. We call it Soul or Self. (3) The purpose of life is to discover this reality experientially and to act on it. Our spirituality is a progressive awakening to this inner reality and a sign that this reality is seeking to emerge.

Dr. V’s battle against needless blindness is no less heroic than the battle immortalized in Arjuna’s conversation with Krishna on the battlefield of the Bhagavad Gita. Like Arjuna’s battle, Dr. V was engaging external and internal foes. Dr. V’s battle is a battle in the external world against eye disease and visual loss. A battle, no less fierce, is waged within for self-mastery and self-realization of our true self. Both battles are fought through our daily choices and actions.

When we act on this greater, underlying reality, which pervades the Universe, dwells within us, and connects us to each other and to a Unity or Divine consciousness, we act from love and do no harm. We live a caring, compassionate life, seeing ourselves in every person during every encounter. Unattached to selfish desires, egoistic pursuits, or greedy expectations, we act from a place of equanimity. When our seeing allows us to envision the deep connectedness in which we exist, we practice a deep medicine. This medicine has roots in the facts and truths of contemporary science and an appreciation of the truths of spiritual consciousness that give meaning, purpose, faith and power to our lives.

This union, this “yoga”, of the scientific and the sacred, which Dr. V embodied, brings us the tools to win the battle against needless blindness – in all its forms. Inspired and elevated by Dr. V’s transformative vision and work, may this Retreat Center always remind us in “perpetuity” of his living legacy so that we can bring light to wherever darkness exists.

“When we grow in spiritual consciousness,

We identify with all there is in the world.

Then there can be no exploitation.

It is ourselves we are helping.

It is ourselves we are healing.”

Dr. G. Venkataswamy (Dr. “V”)

1918 – 2006

During summer we are called to learn and know who we really are so that we can bring our authentic self and personal gifts, talents and contributions forward. Sometimes during our lives we are “forced” to hide our real selves (e.g. to conform to peer pressure, or join the corporate trance) to survive. This hiding may become a pattern of living and lead to self-abandonement and/or denial.

Famed San Francisco psychologist Rollo May said: “If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.”

This summer, on my first day of a several week vacation in British Columbia, motivated by forces beyond my consciousness, I shaved off my beard of more than 15 years. This shedding of my beard reminded me of the snakes’s need to periodically shed its skin. For the snake it is an act of survival. Without shedding its skin as it grows larger, it will die. This shedding of something no longer needed is also a symbol of change, creativity and healing. It is not only the snake that sheds its skin as part of growing. Dogs shed, birds moult, and humans turn over their cells regularly – from their skin to their intestines to their blood.

At times in our lives we have to drop something, let go, move on, change in order to continue to grow, progress, heal, and even survive on our chosen path. The restlessness and rebellion of the young and the dissatisfaction, stifled idealism or pessimism of the old may be signs that outgrown aspects of ourselves need to be shed.

Summer, which is now waning, is a time of light, seeing, dreaming, even “enlightenment”. It is a time to review, reassess and redream. As summer gives way to “Indian summer” and Fall, before the air turns too cold and the days too short, experience the gifts of summer. Spend some time in Nature and solitude where you can tell yourself the truth, review the vision of your preferred future, reassess your goals, and revisit your life’s dream and heart’s desire.

Are you listening to your own being? Are you expressing your original gifts, talents and ideas? Are you acting on your life’s dream? Did you receive the gifts of summer?

Where will these peak experiences and masterpiece-like products come from if we are unable or unwilling to invest the time and energy to nurture the creativity that ignites a flash of genius or embrace the years of training and practice that ultimately result in the master and the masterpiece?

We tend to prefer the dramatic and heroic to the mundane daily routine; the big vision to the repetitive small steps necessary to achieve it. Of course, we need both. Lofty ideals unsupported by disciplined practice may lead to idle dreaming and frivolous pursuits. Repetitious work disconnected from purpose, meaning, calling and passion can result in boredom, disengagement, and disempowerment.  The goal is achieved when trusted routines and practices are infused with visions and missions of discovery, growth and service.

The concept of the “uncarved block” speaks to the natural power and hidden beauty of things and people contained in their original simplicity. It is pure potential, beginner’s mind; the sculpture waiting to be released from an amorphous rock by the skilled craftsman, a blank page waiting for the poet’s words, an empty canvas brought to life by the artist’s well directed brush; an open heart and mind, and perception without prejudice.  A “masterpiece” is an ultimate achievement or expression by an individual whose skills and talents, sensitivity and committed practice of art, sport or other discipline have led to mastery – excellence in his/her chosen field. In mastery the integrity of the pursuit (journey) counts more than the object or result (destination) pursued.

When the potential existing in the “uncarved block” is discovered and harnessed by the mastery of the individual, the “masterpiece” is revealed. This is where the true “wow” experience comes from. It is based on vision (inspiration), i.e. seeing the unseen; and mission (perspiration), i.e. dedicated practice.   Inspiration and perspiration, vision and mission, dreaming and manifesting may seem like opposites. However, they are also mutually complementary and support each other.  Awareness of the relatedness inherent in seemingly paradoxical dualities opens us to new possibilities for discovering and developing our personal power.

“Consistency, not novelty, is the secret to uncommon results….There is absolutely no shortcut to mastery.” – John Berardi

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.”     Marion Wright Edelman

“We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”  Mother Teresa

What is meant by work-life balance? What amount of work is too much or too little? Isn’t work truly part of a balanced life? Is the old adage that the only thing worse than having a job is not having a job true? Are we perhaps actually seeking work-rest or work-play balance?

In her book, The Four Fold Way (HarperSanFrancisco, 1993), Angeles Arrien describes 4 domains of life: work/creativity; health; relationship; and resources/blessings. Our work is not external to our life, it is integral. It is a part of our life, but not all there is to our lives.

Peter Block in The Answer to How is Yes: Acting on What Matters (Berrett-Koehler Publishers, San Francisco, 2003), provides insight to our relationship with work. When we are working or at work, it is still our life. Our working and non-working hours are not meant to be in opposition to or in conflict with each other. Rather what we are seeking is balance in our lives. We need balance among those aspects of our lives which are necessary, practical and useful and those that bring meaning, purpose, passion, joy and contentment. Our balance must support our individual needs and desires and the demands placed upon us by our “collectives”, i.e. our workplace, family, community and culture. This equilibrium is a moving target – a delicate “dance” between our personal objectives and the impact from the responsibilities which come our way from the various collectives in which we participate.

We exist in a constantly changing reality that repeatedly requires us to make choices and changes to achieve, maintain, or regain our equilibrium. In fact, a favorite definition of mine for health is balance. Finding, losing, and rediscovering balance educates us about impermanence, uncertainty, and the transient nature of life. Seeking balance along our own unique path we develop knowledge and skills that support our well-being, in the context of the natural and created environments in which we live.

When you are confronted with questions about your work-life balance, try to engage the question from the perspective of what really matters to you, supports your heart’s desire, your preferred vision of the future, and is a step in the direction of your life’s dream. Then the issue will be seen in its broadest context – is my life in balance?

 “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” – T. Roosevelt

As part of the preparation for this flurry of activity, I prepared my preferred morning eye-opener drink. This high powered beverage is a blend of a vital green powder, which began as algae and seaweed, augmented with macro- and micronutrients in the form of various fruits, vegetables and juices — with one’s complete well-being in mind. The final muddy green-blue color and hearty soup-like consistency (depending on the ingredients selected for the day) remind me of the rich and fertile broth characteristic of a swamp. Thus, I fondly call this breakfast beverage my “swamp shake.”

On this particular morning, rather than lingering over breakfast, I prepared a double batch, drank a small portion and chose to bring the rest with me to work. As I poured the remainder into my travel mug, I was very mindful that the mug I selected was one I usually only used for water or herbal tea, since its top was large and the lid somewhat unreliable. I made a mental note to treat this travel container and its contents with special regard.

The travel to the office was uneventful. My mind was full with the to-do list, previews of letters and emails to be written, outlines to be drafted, and anticipated conversations to be had. I entered my office somewhat preoccupied with the tasks ahead and heavily laden with books, notes, bags and nourishment. I placed my load on the floor next to my desk and prepared to unpack. I had taken great care in insuring that my travel cup had remained capped and upright throughout. I bent over to lift the full cup out of my beautiful new hand-made lunch bag carefully grasping the top of the cup beyond the lid. While lifting the cup over my desk to put it in a safe place, the cup slipped downward and tilted, the lid came off, and the rotary movement of my body as I was rising from the bent over position created a mini-tsunami of green-brown liquid from the tops of my shoes, on to my papers-covered desk, across the room to the credenza, the plants on top of it,  the books in its lower shelves, up the wall and onto the ceiling – where the fluid finally dissipated before completing the full circle and landing on my head!

My desk was a submerged mess. Muck was everywhere along the path of destruction. Fortunately, my computer and keyboard were spared and no one else had yet arrived in the office to bear witness to what I had to say in the wake of this mini-disaster. As I began to mop up the mess, I noticed that the area worst hit on my desk was a valued collection of some of my favorite notes and quotes that I had accumulated over the years. Of course, my attention was drawn to these wisdom sayings and I realized that I hadn’t looked at most of the sayings for some time. Was there something to be learned from this personal microcosmic incident? Was my incident in some small way related to all that is going on in the world in the form of natural phenomena such as earthquakes, oil spills, tidal waves, restlessness for freedom, financial crises, and the like. Was this a gentle, albeit messy, call back to slowing down, paying attention, being fully present and the wisdom of the sages?

Most of our challenges, not unlike our blessings, call to us to grow and learn. Hopefully, it doesn’t require a major crisis, e.g. a serious health issue, job loss, broken relationship, to get our attention and bring us into the present moment in gratitude and wonder.

Some of the wisdom which I uncovered/rediscovered during the clean-up from my recent spill follows:

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”   Martin Luther King

“I have the view…that the human being was not made for pleasure, was not made to gratify the ego, was not made to make money, and was not made to have babies: it was made to serve something bigger than oneself. We are built to serve.”

Jacob Needleman

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and found that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”   R. Tagore

“The more you unfold, the less likely you are to unravel.”

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms or books that are written in a foreign tongue. The point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live your way some distant day into the answers.”  Rainer Maria Rilke

“In Heaven – one truth. On Earth – many truths.”

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. But beautiful old people are works of art.”  E. Roosevelt

“Intelligence and competence are not enough. We must be doing something beautiful.”   Dr. “V”

“When we grow in spiritual consciousness, we identify with all there is in the world. Then there can be no exploitation. It is ourselves we are helping. It is ourselves we are healing.”    Dr. “V”

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”  Robert Byrne

“The boundary between ourselves and other people and between ourselves and Nature, is illusion. Oneness is reality.”   Charlene Spretnak

In fact, the reason each individual in a group is capable of making a difference is because we each are different. Our differences brought together with a common vision and mission give the collective, family, tribe, institution, corporation, community, city, state, country all the component parts to create a vehicle/container that moves the entire group forward with the creativity, generativity and resilency necessary to benefit the individual and the whole. To best serve the collective, rather than deny our differences and diversity, we must fully express ourselves. That is how we make a difference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson was a Unitarian minister, philosopher, and naturalist of the early 19th century who championed self-reliance and self-expression, and had a strong influence on Henry David Thoreau. Thoreau’s work on behalf of individualism, the natural world and civil disobedience inspired Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandala. In spite of his emphasis on individuality, Emerson saw our individuality in a collective context. 

At the same time, Emerson saw each individual as a creator of their own unique world and saw the power and potential of diverse individuals compounded through their interconnection. The co-creative power of the individual and the group increased the capacity to survive, change, evolve and innovate. Everywhere he looked in the natural world, he saw immense diversity and the interconnectedness of the web of life. He saw nature as not separate from but rather a mirror of the human experience. Underlying and beyond the natural world, he saw a unity in the cosmos. This both/and view of the uniqueness of the individual and the interconnectedness of all creation allowed him, for example, to look at a river and be reminded of the flow of reality.

His transcendent view of an underlying unity in common for all of the natural world including each of us, moved him to form a club known as the “Transcendentalist Club”. One of its members noted “we are called like-minded because no two of us think alike.” 

For Emerson, the individual who awakened to a transcendent universality and inter-connection among all empowered their own imagination, strength, gifts and talents. By identifying, claiming and then expressing our unique talents, we grow in authenticity. In a collective, through service to a “greater good” and a vision bigger than our own personal self-interest, we become not more like others, but more like ourselves.

So, not only is it possible to be an authentic individual in the context of a collective, it is necessary. It is by being different that we are able to make a difference.

Reference:

Alan Briskin, Sheryl Erickson, John Ott, Tom Callanan,

The Power of Collective Wisdom and the Trap of Collective Folly.

San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2009.

“Every person born into this world represents something new, something that never existed before” -Martin Buber

Many indigenous cultures believe that each individual is “original medicine”.  A creation that nowhere else, never before has been created. Nor will it be again in the future. Though we share much of our genetic map, anatomy, biology and physiology with other humans and animals, no two people are the same. We may have the same number of chromosomes and bones, similar blood types and skin, eye or hair color. However, our particular genetic expression, voice, fingerprint, gait, and personality are all ours alone. No one else now, ever before or ever again, carries the same combination of gifts, talents, resources, opportunities and challenges. The unique formulation that we represent is our “original medicine”.

The term “medicine” in this usage connotes not simply a healing balm or potion, but our power. Our medicine feeds our “personal power”. It is our capacity to explore, discover, create, express, grow and heal. Our original medicine is also our “authenticity”. Our authenticity is who we are absent our roles, facades, opinions, and judgments. Authenticity represents our “true self” without self-deception or self-criticism, but with a fair and an honest assessment of what actually is, free of self-deprecation or inflation.

We are most fully in our personal power when we are expressing our authenticity. It is our destiny (i.e. why we are in a body on the planet), through the skillful use of our personal power, to bring our healing medicine into the world. Our unique original medicine fuels our passion and inner fire, allows us to hear our calling, defines our purpose, provides the vision to imagine our life’s dream(s), and energizes us to manifest in the world. Together these ignite and fuel our work in the world. The expression of our unique gifts and talents serves those around us (our families, friends, teams, communities, etc.) and contributes to the “greater good”.

“Every person born into this world represents something new, something that never existed before, something original and unique.  It is the duty of every person…to know and consider…that there has never been anyone like him in the world, for if there had…there would have been no need for him in the world. Every single person is a new thing in the world and is called upon to fill his particularity in this world. Every person’s foremost task is the actualization of his unique, unprecedented and never recurring potentialities, and not the repetition of something that another, be it even the greatest, has already achieved.

The same idea was expressed by Rabbi Zusya when he said a short while before his death: ‘In the world to come I shall not be asked, Why were you not Moses? I shall be asked, Why were you not Zusya?’ “     Martin Buber (1878 – 1965)

Reference:

Angeles Arrien, The Four Fold Way, New York, HarperCollins, 1993.

Every one makes a difference AND it takes a village. Both parts of the previous sentence are true. It is accepted and understood that every one matters by bringing a unique contribution to each setting and circumstance where we come together. It is also true that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is so where we work and play, where there is celebration or conflict, disaster or delight, sickness or health. When individuals come together opportunities and challenges arise.

 For some time I have contributed a brief presentation at the monthly General Management Meeting at my Medical Center in San Francisco (California Pacific Medical Center) on self-care and well-being. These presentations have ranged from antioxidants to Zen, medications to meditations, and attitude to gratitude. Recently, I was asked to explore the theme of “each of us makes a difference” over the course of the calendar year 2011. This invitation both inspires and challenges me. It is an opportunity to link the vision and mission of the institution with the expectations and dreams of the individuals that together make up the contemporary healthcare team. What a phenomenal playing field. It is an interface where our independence bumps into our interdependence and where  personal autonomy and social justice may be at odds. Our personal desires and goals may need to be subverted to the institutional mission or the “greater good”. The need for compliance may not be in alignment with the motivation or values of the individual. Circumstances where comparison, competition and conflict can arise will be in juxtaposition with cooperation, sharing, and mutual support. The subject matter and the context create a fertile soil for study, reflection, learning and growth.

 “Rugged individualism” and “fierce independence” are valued concepts in the U.S.A.  In the world of Mother Nature the existence of the “lone wolf”, however, is something of an aberration and interdependence is the dominant theme. This is true not only from an ecologic perspective, but in geopolitics, economics, justice, and health. Absolute independence is illusory and interdependence is the rule. The balancing act between independence and interdependence, self and service, selfishness and selflessness capture the elemental challenge of our lives.

An often told parable about a small sparrow who overhears a barnyard conversation during which she hears that the sky is going to fall captures this challenge. Fearing the worst, the sparrow springs into action by lying down on her back and holding her legs up in the air. A traveler walking a nearby path sees the sparrow on its back and asks, “what are you doing little sparrow?” The sparrow replies, “the sky is going to fall and I am holding it up”. “But your feet are too small and weak to hold up the sky,” replied the traveler. “I may be small and weak,” said the sparrow, “but we each must do what we can.”

 We each must do what we can and together we can accomplish great things.

 Consider the impact of individuals such as Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Hitler, and Jesus.

Consider the impact of one stalled car on a busy freeway. What do you love to do that makes a contribution to others? What do you get from making that contribution?

 “To find yourself, lose yourself in service to others.”  -Gandhi

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.” - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

My usual temptation at the beginning of a New Year is to think about and talk of New Year’s resolutions. However, in a recent CharityFocus posting (http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=4374) there was a call to consider the creative possibility of a new kind of resolution. The form of resolution they suggest is a resolution about serving and caring for others, rather than one about self improvement.

From a scientific and statistical perspective this makes sense. Since our usual personal improvement types of resolutions (eat less, exercise more; sleep more, stress less) are often unrealistic, frequently are unfulfilled, and may result in more disappointment than self-improvement. Furthermore, it is well accepted that acts of kindness and generosity as well as the giving of gratitude are all good for one’s personal well-being. Here is a win-win situation. In caring service to others, we benefit not only them but ourselves. This reality has been taught by wise men and women for millennia. Perennial wisdom, from the yoga sutras to the Old Testament, from the teachings of Jesus and the diverse formulations of the Golden Rule to the universal principles forwarded by indigenous cultures around the world, has taught us that service is joy and that if we treated others as we would like to be treated we could all “…sit in the same circle together… ” in peace and harmony and well-being.

For Reflection

A Prayer for Hope from the Chippewa People

(Book of Common Worship: Daily Prayer, Westminster/John Knox Press, Louisville, KY, 1993.)

“We pray that someday an arrow will be broken,

not in something or someone,

but by each of humankind,

to indicate peace, not violence.

Someday, oneness with creation,

will be the goal to be respected.

Someday fearlessness to love and make a difference

will be experienced by all people.

Then the eagle will carry our prayer for peace and love,

and the people of the red, white, yellow, brown,

and black communities

can sit in the same circle together to communicate in love

and experience the presence of the Great Mystery in their midst.

Someday can be today for you and me.”

What will you write in your personal book of 2011?

What is your caring service resolution for 2011?

“Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.”       - Buddha

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy.  I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”     – R. Tagore

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service of others.”     -M. Gandhi

Want to Share Your Resolution?

Click on this link: http://www.resolution11.org/

“We hold these truths to be self-evident that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”  Second section of the Declaration of Independence adopted by the Second Continental Congress, July 4, 1776.

During this season greetings such as “happy holidays” and “happy new year” are commonly heard or read in casual conversations, greeting cards and advertisements.  These wishes for our happiness during the holiday season and in the new year may be well intentioned and sincere or may be nothing more than mindless seasonal discourse like saying “how’s it going” or “what’s up”.

Since being codified by the Declaration of Independence, the pursuit of happiness has become a national pastime and presumed natural right. A germane question might arise as to what is happiness? And if and/or how it can be pursued or more accurately cultivated? Rather than being chased and hunted like prey, happiness is more ephemeral and elusive. To find it we must create the proper conditions to attract it to us. We must be more like the flower attracting the bee than the hunter stalking his prize. Happiness must find us.

“Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.” – Chuang Tzu, circa 350 B.C.

What makes you happy? Where do you find your happiness?

You have been warned that you can’t buy happiness. So don’t count on the latest  -phone, -pad, or -pod to bring you lasting happiness. The next trip to the mall won’t do it. The racy automobile, coldest brew, new job, mate, home or adventure are unlikely to provide sustained happiness. Alas, neither major triumphs (e.g. winning the lottery) nor catastrophes (e.g. health crisis or natural disasters) seem to result in long term (i.e. beyond one year) changes in the level of one’s happiness.

Happiness is defined as a sense of well being, a feeling of joy or delight, and a state of balance and contentment. However, it is easy to confuse intensity, pursuing pleasure, and thrill seeking with joy, delight and contentment.  The qualities of happiness include having a sense of freedom to make choices; being loved and giving love; acting in kind and compassionate ways; and seeing life in a context greater than oneself and being connected to the “big picture”  and/or “greater good” through purpose, meaning and service. 

True happiness seems to be more related to one’s state of mind than to your circumstances or the impact of transitory, external events. That is why you can impact your level of happiness by your thoughts, emotions, attention, awareness, and actions. That is why acts of kindness and giving gratitude bring you happiness. That is why what and whom you surround your self with can enhance or diminish your happiness. Neuroscience has demonstrated that a “neural resonance” is generated in our brains which draws us to or repels us from people and situations. Your boss’s bad mood might be “contagious” via this phenomenon. This is why watching sensationalistic television shows or news disrupt your night’s sleep. And how you know the instant you enter the door to the next holiday gathering you attend that is or is not a place where you want to be.

Minding your inner landscape is much more important for your state of happiness than mining your external landscape. Rather than seeking external solutions to an internal issue, let’s make our path to happiness an “inside job”. Focusing your attention (i.e. not multitasking) on the task at hand; practicing meditation (non-judgmental presence in the moment); choosing to fully show up in the present, rather than being stuck in past memories or future worries; being in the presence of people you love and who love you — all contribute positively to your state of happiness.

Happiness comes from feeling good (health), doing good (compassionate service) and being good (building awareness, character, and meaningful purpose). Growth in happiness will also be associated with growth in self-worth, self-respect, and self-love. As you find direction through quiet introspection and constructive contribution, you will be appreciated for who you really are, and then happiness will find you.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!!

Resources:

Boorstein, Sylvia. 2007. Happiness Is an Inside Job. New York: Ballantine Books.

Baker, Dan and Cameron Stauth. 2002. What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better.  Emmaus, PA: Rodale Books.

Stewart, William. 2009. Deep Medicine: Harnessing the Source of Your Healing Power. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.